I have this thing about coupons: I don't use them more often than about twice a year and only if it really benefits my wallet. I know little things add up in money, but when they also add up my time I'm done with them. I work full time plus some and the idea of cutting into precious time by cutting up snippets of paper? Well, I'd rather make paper chains.
Lately I've been getting in behind coupon ladies with alarming frequency. Mostly they're trying to use coupons that state somewhere they can't be combined with other coupons, and of course they insist that they should still be allowed to use them. That or they have 50 coupons they want to use on English muffins and ketchup and each coupon takes a minute to process. Obviously this is exaggerated, but I wish there would be a separate checkout line for all the coupon-users in the world to take their sweet time while I use my sweet time somewhere else, quicker.
This story, however, is about one specific time last week I found myself in behind coupon lady. She only had two coupons, and they were for expensive items so the fact that the flustered cashier lady couldn't get them to work didn't bother me overly. I had iced coffee in hand, and was catching up on Instagram so why fuss about two little coupons? Plus, this lady looked liked Reese Witherspoon and certainly had the perky, happy, blonde flakiness to accompany the look and I thought she was funny and nice. The exchange went something like this:
Perky blonde mom: "I'm so sorry this is taking so long, most people would get frustrated if they had to wait in line this long."
Me: "Ah no, it's ok. Don't worry about it, I don't mind waiting."
I added. "Maybe if you had twenty coupons you weren't supposed to be trying to use it would make it harder to wait on, but this is fine."
Both acknowledge truth of statement.
(The truth is I was rather in a hurry because I knew my friend was waiting in the car and needed to get home, but I also wasn't frustrated. She was just such a cute and happy yoga-pant mom buying formula and who could ever get mad at Reese Witherspoon's look-alike?)
10 minutes later...
I rush out the door and see the car right by the front. Hurrying to get there I start opening the door and say semi-loudly to friend, "Sorry for the wait, I got behind coupon lady."
To my immediate horror I looked up and spotted Reese Witherspoon look-alike next door to me loading her car, and by her face she had heard every word.
She had only one response; she pointed her forefinger at me in an triumphant and amused, "ha ha!"
I bent over double in the car and asked aforementioned friend to get me out of there, fast. From there I howled with laughter for five minutes, and began again whenever I saw her knowing face: